This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:
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Mike Pence praised the spontaneous outbreak of Texas heroes rescuing each other during last week’s floods Thursday. Now that it’s receding one thing is clear. Forget Confederate generals just for a moment, Texas needs to erect a statue honoring the random average dude with a bass boat.
Governor Greg Abbott thanked all the donors and volunteers helping out Texas flood victims Friday. No good deed goes unpunished. President Trump donated a million dollars to the flood relief, however CNN noted that almost all the money Trump gives has portraits on slave owners on it.
New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio announced he’s considering renaming Columbus Circle and taking down the statue of Christopher Columbus to assuage Native Americans. The left never relaxes. Next they’re going to demand that Fifth Avenue be taken down because it offends alcoholics.
President Trump asked the White House press corps for suggestions as to which charity to donate his million-dollar Hurricane Harvey relief donation. It all provides a rare bi-partisan feel-good moment. Hillary Clinton will donate the royalties to her new book to the victim of Hurricane Comey.
The Southern Poverty Law Center listed all Confederate monuments in the U.S. that it vows to remove. They also targeted Army bases named for Southern generals. There should be a place on the organ donor card that allows you to leave your middle finger to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
The White House vowed Sunday to meet any North Korea aggression with overwhelming force and fury. It might be tougher than we thought. The U.S. has an overwhelming advantage in tactical and nuclear weapons but suspicions are growing that North Korea has developed a weather machine.
President Trump faced angry Hispanic protestors after he rescinded Obama’s DACA creation and told Congress to legalize it. He’s bound by immigration statutes. This year’s Nobel Prize for Communication could go to the first linguist who’s able to translate “the law is the law” into Spanish.
Hillary Clinton in her forthcoming book blames Bernie Sanders for her stunning election loss last year. She’s also blamed the FBI’s Jim Comey, the DNC for being broke, and the Russians. If Hillary ever gets around to blaming white people for lying to the pollsters, we finally have a winner.
President Trump met with his military advisors Monday after North Korea had just detonated a hydrogen bomb. It looks like only a desperate attempt at diplomacy can avert a nuclear war. You know the world is on the brink of collapse when our only hope of salvation is Dennis Rodman.
President Trump struck a deal with Democratic and Republican leaders on Capitol Hill to pay for Hurricane Harvey relief and to extend the debt ceiling. The debt level could be increased to twenty-one trillion. The last time America was attacked by this many zeroes we declared war on Japan.
— Argus Hamilton