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The White House announced that President Trump will be in Paris in two weeks to celebrate Bastille Day. Trump will be in Paris for the two hundred twenty-eighth anniversary of the French Revolution and the subsequent Reign of Terror. Two weeks ago Kathy Griffin predicted this, in a way.
The White House travel ban on six outlaw nations went into effect Thursday. First they came for Muslims and I said nothing since I’m not Muslim, next, they came for Brzezinski, and I said nothing since I can’t pronounce Brzezinski. Then they stopped coming and everything is so peaceful.
Senate Leader Mitch McConnell hinted at progress passing the GOP health care bill Tuesday, saying he’s just trying to get fifty people in a comfortable place. He’ll be sorry he said that. Bill Cosby just tried to get fifty people in a comfortable place and he may be in court for the rest of his life.
The Toronto Star reports the brothel built by President Trump’s grandfather Friedrich Trump in British Columbia in 1897 is being restored and opened for tours. The grandfather dealt with hookers, now the grandson deals with Congress. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Johnny Depp apologized on Monday for joking onstage about assassinating President Trump at the Glastonbury Movie Festival. No one took him seriously. However, just to be on the safe side, Johnny Depp was frisked at Disney World yesterday before he was allowed to Meet Mr. Lincoln.
President Trump blistered CNN as Fake News again after CNN had to retract a Russia-Trump story it ran and fired the journalists involved. He counter-attacks negative stories every tweet. It’s beginning to dawn on the mainstream media the Republicans didn’t elect George W. Pinata this time.
Barack Obama may have to testify in the Senate after reports two senators told him of Russian meddling in August and he didn’t act. Now he’s in hot water. It’s just like Democrats to set out in January to bring down the president and then forget to specify which president they’re bringing down.
The Justice Department dispatched twenty ATF agents and a mobile gun identification van to Chicago Friday. They will try to help the Chicago cops tamp down the all gun violence. Yesterday Chicago defied the travel ban and offered to take in Syrian war refugees, and they’re thinking it over.
The Los Angeles Times quoted a study saying climate change will widen the gulf between rich and the poor in the U.S., with the South being hit the hardest. This will only delay any action. The best way to torture a liberal is to make him choose between saving the Earth and clobbering the South.
President Trump meets with Vladimir Putin in Berlin Friday. The Russians have been buzzing U.S. ships and planes and bombing U.S. allies in Syria while Trump has ordered Russian-made jets shot down over Iraq and missile-attacked Russia’s ally Syria. The Democrats still aren’t buying it.
President Trump was ripped by CNN for re-tweeting a satirical video on social media showing Trump body-slamming CNN in the wrestling ring. There was a chorus of wailing about Trump putting reporters in danger. Someone should tell CNN even terrorists know that pro wrestling is fake.
President Trump spoke in Warsaw Thursday at the site of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Poland’s German occupiers in the last month of World War II. The Russian Army descended on Warsaw the day it ended. It’s like just when Trump pins CNN, MSNBC leaps into the wrestling ring.
House Democrats began clamoring for a Twenty-Fifth Amendment-allowed medical panel to determine if President Trump is sane enough for office. They claim he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a serious disease which affects one out of every one persons in Los Angeles.
— Argus Hamilton