Today’s Toons 8/22/16

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Donald Trump insisted Thursday that he plans to participate in the three presidential debates but added he would like to negotiate a few things. He’s concerned about the debate format. The presidential debate format will consist of Hillary Clinton staring at Trump until he bursts into flames.

The Justice Department refused to okay the FBI to investigate the Clinton Foundation e-mails urging State Department access for donors. It was ever thus. The moment Hillary was born, the doctor slapped her with a subpoena, and the next day the doctor died under mysterious circumstances.

Hillary Clinton found herself with an eight-point lead in the polls Thursday. She’s spending the weekend in reflection. Hillary has now raised hundreds of millions of dollars and she must either spend every penny of it on advertising or go to prison if she keeps it, and she’s thinking it over.

Great Value Colleges website released a list of twenty U.S. colleges that provide safe spaces for college students. Safe spaces are where you go to escape First Amendment debate or a conservative point of view or hearing anything hurtful. It’s modeled on Barack Obama’s first seven years in office.

The Hollywood Reporter reported the broadcast networks are scrambling to regain TV viewers lost to the cable networks, social media and streaming. TV is getting more and more specialized. For an extra fifty dollars a month, Comcast is now offering cable subscribers a station without Trump.

Donald Trump announced with great fanfare Friday he’s added eight women to his previously all-male council of advisors on the U.S. economy. Sometimes it’s too easy. Trump said people can tell they’re all experts on the economy because he selected each one of them and none of them are hot.

The Gallup Poll showed a large majority of Americans now believe that the country is heading in the wrong direction. Crowd reaction says it all. Presidents used to get a round of applause when they’d say we need to defeat terrorism to protect the American way of life but now it gets a huge laugh.

Hillary Clinton lashed into Donald Trump at her speech in Scranton Monday claiming that he lacks the temperament and character to be president. She sounded happy about it. Hillary later told CNN she felt she had a good day, but then any day out of jail is a good day for Hillary Clinton.

The Gallup Poll says Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have the highest negatives of any two presidential candidates in history. They’re simply amazing. Trump and Hillary have done what no one thought anybody could do, they’ve made Americans hungry for any news about the Kardashians.

Hillary Clinton’s lead in the polls began sliding Tuesday as the Zogby Poll had it back down to a two-point Hillary lead. The battleground states are the key. Donald Trump said Monday he could lose in Pennsylvania if cheating goes on, prompting Hillary to give Bill a free pass until Election Day.

The Donald Trump campaign announced that Fox News’ recently deposed CEO Roger Ailes has been hired to coach Donald Trump for the presidential debates. This is a highly risky hire. Please tell us this doesn’t mean that instead of debating Hillary, Trump’s going to sexually harass her.

Donald Trump delivered a serious a speech on national security Monday. He proposed ways to secure the U.S. from terrorist entry. Donald Trump called for an ideology test for anyone trying to come into the U.S., as opposed to the current challenge, which consists of swimming and pole vaulting.

Donald Trump Monday proposed an immigrant screening process he called Extreme Vetting to weed out terrorist entry. The media dismissed it as racist. If the U.S. government vetted Mideast refugees as strictly as the media vets Donald Trump, this country would be safer than Switzerland.

Donald Trump turned serious this week in his long-awaited pivot to acting more presidential onstage. His support is growing in Los Angeles. That’s because if you quote Trump in any public place in California, they place you in psychiatric hold and you get free drugs for twenty-four hours.

Black Lives Matter protestors were turned away by police at Graceland in Memphis during the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. He sang the blues, he sang gospel, he died of a drug overdose and his daughter married Michael Jackson. No one ever did more to meet the protestors halfway.

Donald Trump issued a sincere pitch for the African American vote Tuesday in his Milwaukee speech. As always, he was hounded afterwards by the fact-checkers. During his speech, Trump claimed he carried the black voters in the West Virginia primary but they turned out to be coal miners.

— Argus Hamilton



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