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Donald Trump ripped the GOP establishment Friday for plotting to steal the nomination from him at the Republican Party convention in Cleveland. They are trying everything. Last night, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln visited Donald Trump in a dream and urged him to relax and go see a play.
President Obama spoke at the University of Chicago Law School on Thursday. He announced an executive order making illegal aliens under thirty eligible for federal benefits and exempt from getting deported. The University of Chicago is where Obama taught How to Avoid Constitutional Law.
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton began attacking each other as unqualified Wednesday as Bernie kept winning primaries while Hillary kept adding to her delegate lead. Bernie Sanders has won eight of the last nine contests. If this keeps up, Hillary’s going to be president two months ago.
President Obama charged that Iran wasn’t living up to the spirit of its nuclear agreement with its missile program. The West decided to trust Iran not to make nuclear weapons. On the scale of risky decisions, it ranks between sleeping with Charlie Sheen and using Oscar Pistorious’ bathroom.
Hillary Clinton campaigned hard to Hispanic voters in New York Wednesday. She promised to create a cabinet-level Department of Immigrant Affairs when she’s elected president. This will give Bill Clinton nine months to study under Arnold Schwarzenegger to learn how to head the department.
— Argus Hamilton
Donald Trump announced he’s changing up his campaign staff and adding a convention manager. Which is the most creative way I’ve heard someone describe the word “Bouncer.”
Colorado has a month-long process of local meetings where they just meet and choose the delegates. Somehow Ted Cruz made a clean sweep, he got all of them. So Trump criticized the process. Trump says the Republican Party is trying to slow his momentum by using what he called crooked shenanigans, which are the worst kind of shenanigans.
Why do I have a feeling if Donald Trump doesn’t win he’s going to sue all of us?
I saw that Bill Clinton was in the Bronx campaigning for Hillary yesterday, and visited the “Hebrew Home for the Aging.” While Hillary actually went there to drop off Bernie Sanders.
Last night, CNN hosted a town hall with Republican front-runner Donald Trump, and at one point he complained that the rules of the election are stacked against him “by the establishment.” You gotta give it to Trump. He’s the only man who could inherit millions of dollars, have his name on buildings, and still go, “Life is totally unfair!”
— Jimmy Fallon
According to reports, two of Donald Trump’s children will not be able to vote at New York’s primary because they failed to register before the deadline. So I guess you just lost two votes, Ted Cruz.
— Seth Meyers
When asked about his potential running mates, Donald Trump said he would consider Marco Rubio, Scott Walker, and John Kasich. Or as Trump calls them, “Shrimpy, Stupidface, and Loser.”