Today’s Toons 1/25/16

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The Powerball Lottery drawing Wednesday had three winners and a lot of disappointed ticket holders. People know the odds are astronomical against winning, but they can’t resist the idea of free money for the rest of their lives. It’s why Bernie Sanders is leading in Iowa and New Hampshire.

North Korea’s Kim Jung Un on Thursday ordered his scientists to build more and better and bigger nuclear bombs. He’s been increasingly erratic. Kim Jung Un has been on the warpath ever since one of his advisors found the courage to tell him that Dennis Rodman was not President Obama.

Sean Penn interviewed the fugitive drug lord El Chapo with no tape recorder and no notes for Esquire and wrote that El Chapo admitted he sold drugs and that he killed people. El Chapo’s lawyer just demanded that Penn testify to this in court. The police have already ruled the testimony a suicide.

Antenna TV beginning this month began airing episodes of the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson every night. This is the heavy artillery. Forget about Letterman and Leno being tempted to come out of retirement to crack Donald Trump jokes, Johnny Carson’s coming back from the dead.

Sean Penn went on CBS 60 Minutes to explain his interview with Mexican fugitive drug lord El Chapo, which Mexican police say helped them to track him down. Penn’s peers in Hollywood don’t look forward to hearing from him. Rarely is it good news when somebody calls you from the trunk of a car.

President Obama obtained the release of four U.S. prisoners held in Iran in exchange for seven Iranian prisoners held inside the United States on Sunday. That’s how it’s done in Washington D.C. The U.S. is unable to effect a prisoner exchange without running up a two hundred percent deficit.

Bernie Sanders led in both Iowa and New Hampshire Democratic polls on Monday. He’s a lot more vigorous than his years suggest. Bernie Sanders stayed in shape before the presidential campaign by running six miles every morning, of course the last five were just looking for his house.

Sarah Palin addressed a GOP rally in Iowa and endorsed Donald Trump for president of the United States Wednesday. You can’t make it up. Just when the Republican National Committee breaks off relations with NBC, Donald Trump finds another way to get back on Saturday Night Live.

Donald Trump addressed the evangelical students at Liberty University Monday. The students didn’t mind his honest mistakes. Trying to quote the scriptures, he incorrectly said Two Corinthians instead of Second Corinthians and several other times, instead of saying God, he said Donald Trump.

The Chicago Tribune reports that the Chicago City Council has just passed a resolution which establishes Chicago as a sanctuary city for Syrian war refugees. Do they read their own police reports? Chicago is not a sanctuary city for Syrian war refugees, it’s a continuing education seminar.

The Supreme Court on Monday agreed to hear the case against President Obama’s executive order shielding illegal aliens from Mexico and Central America from deportation. It’s all political. Democrats used to maintain their majority by having eight kids per family, but now they just order in.

Democratic curmudgeon Bernie Sanders surged into the lead in Democratic polls Wednesday as Donald Trump led in GOP polls. The choice for president could come down to two white guys in their seventies. On the plus side, they are both totally okay with the Academy Awards nominations.

Mexico’s government said it began tracking fugitive El Chapo’s movements after Sean Penn interviewed him. It set off alarm bells in Hollywood. Sean Penn is reportedly so worried that El Chapo’s henchmen may track him down, he may star in a sitcom on NBC where no one will find him.

Thirteen Hours was released in theaters Friday about the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi four years ago. It’s got Democrats jumpy. Hillary Clinton’s campaign said she won’t see the movie because she’s too busy campaigning, the same reason she didn’t stop the actual attack.

Hillary Clinton was cited in an inspector general’s report Tuesday for storing and transmitting top-secret material on her private e-mail server when she was Secretary of State. Only a sex scandal from Bill can get her out of this. The question is, can he get aroused when he has permission to cheat.

Hillary Clinton wrote an essay titled What President Obama’s Legacy Means to Me in which she praised and cozied up to Obama Wednesday. Then the top-secret e-mail news came out. Later in the day Hillary wrote another essay titled What FBI Director James Comey’s Legacy Means to Me.

— Argus Hamilton

This morning, Twitter went down for almost three hours. It wasn’t good — in fact, I heard Donald Trump actually had to FAX his insults to people.

Yesterday in Iowa, Sarah Palin gave a 20-minute speech to endorse Donald Trump for president, while Trump stood off to the side. Palin described Trump as a great leader, while Trump described being quiet for 20 minutes as the most painful experience of his life.

— Jimmy Fallon

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham on Friday endorsed Jeb Bush for president. Though I imagine getting an endorsement from Lindsey Graham is about as helpful as being backed up in a bar fight by Lindsey Graham.

Donald Trump said today that he didn’t expect Sarah Palin to speak for “quite that long” during her rambling endorsement speech earlier this week. She did speak for over 20 minutes, but remember, for Sarah Palin, that’s only three sentences.

— Seth Meyers

While speaking at an evangelical university, Donald Trump misquoted the Bible, saying “two Corinthians” instead of “Second Corinthians.” And, several times, instead of saying “God” he said “Donald Trump.”

Today, Donald Trump got the endorsement of Sarah Palin. When he heard, John McCain said, “Well, then you’re all set.”

— Conan

What’s wrong with this picture: Spike Lee announces boycott of Oscars because the major nominees are all white, doesn’t have problem with Democratic presidential nominees who are all white.

— Steven Colbert

What’s wrong with this picture: Spike Lee announces boycott of Oscars because the major nominees are all white, doesn’t have problem with Democratic presidential nominees who are all white.

— Stilton Jarlsberg, Hope N Change Cartoons


This chain letter really does work — it is confirmed!

I never send chain letters, but this one works.

You will be offered sex by simply passing it on!

It’s incredible!

Send ‘OBAMA LOVES YOU’ to ten recipients.

At least 9 will reply telling you to go f**k yourself.

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