Today’s Toons 8/10/15

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

During Senate hearings, Secretary of State John Kerry was told he had been “fleeced” and “bamboozled” by the Iranians on the nuclear deal. Kerry disagreed, pointing out that he has an entire handful of magic beans to show for it.

In Kenya, President Obama said “Africa will need to generate millions more jobs than it is doing now”. Great. It’s like getting marriage counseling from a monk.

A new poll shows that liberals are more likely to drink than conservatives. Which may explain the Iran deal.

The Obama administration announced that it is moving to investigate the death of Cecil The Lion. I’m sure Ambassador Stevens’ family noted the sad irony.

The new TSA chief said he will fix his people’s 96% failure rate at finding weapons in airports. Yes, he’s vowed to leave no toddler unturned.

— Fred Thompson

Monica Lewinsky’s White House confidante Linda Tripp broke years of silence Tuesday, ripping Hillary Clinton. Eighteen years ago, Tripp secretly recorded Monica’s sexual confessions with a mike tucked inside her bra. It was the un-safest place you could choose to hide a mike from Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton according to a new tell-all has a blonde mistress in New York. Meanwhile Kathleen Willey, Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers and Monica are giving interviews again. Bill Clinton’s sex scandals are like CBS’s Big Bang Theory, you can enjoy a new episode weekly or the re-runs every day.

The State Department released Hillary’s email from her private server, much of it classified, last Friday. She already destroyed everything she didn’t want made public. When Hillary’s president and the New England Patriots visit the White House they can meet in the Situation Room and exchange tips.

The Iran nuclear deal had only thirty-eight percent approval Friday despite a YouTube pitch for it by movie stars. It’s got the Obama administration scrambling. So far the best idea to whip up support for the Iran nuclear deal is to redefine it as a sexual preference and then put in on the California ballot.

President Obama gave a speech in Washington Monday laying out strict new proposals to help combat global warming. He seems obsessed with weaning the U.S. off fossil-fuel oil and electricity producing coal. All he has to do now is figure out how to make cars run on beautiful pictures of Alaska.

President Obama will push his low-carbon emission rules at the National Clean Energy Summit in Las Vegas this month. The president will speak at UNLV even though the NCES convention will be at the MGM Grand Hotel. Guys who are seventeen trillion dollars in debt aren’t allowed in a casino.

Bill Clinton tweeted happy birthday wishes to President Obama Tuesday and said he hoped that the president can enjoy some cake when the first lady isn’t looking. The tweet unleashed a storm. President Obama had to spend all morning convincing Michelle that Bill was not talking to him in code.

The New York Post ripped Hillary Clinton Monday over her destroyed e-mails and over foreign donations to the Clinton Foundation. The drumbeat is driving down her approval numbers. Bill Clinton is so furious at the New York Post for criticizing Hillary, he’s threatened to cancel all his personal ads.

President Obama in his autobiography twenty years ago praised lion hunting and tribal customs of proving one’s manhood by killing a lion with a spear. Of course he’s updating the next edition. It’ll say it’s a tribal custom in Kenya to prove one’s manhood by killing the coal industry with an EPA rule.

Hillary Clinton’s arrival caused a lockdown at Bergdorf Goodman’s on Fifth Avenue Friday as she stopped in at the John Barrett salon fort a six hundred dollar haircut and six hundred dollar coloring. It’s important. She wanted to look just right for her speech on income inequality in America.

Virginia former governor Jim Gilmore went on Fox News and announced he has decided to run for the GOP nomination for president and became the seventeenth candidate in the race. It’s exhausting. Jim Gilmore’s entrance to the race poses a serious threat to Senator Lindsey Graham’s hold on last place.

The GOP debates reminded political junkies that today’s campaigns have no slogans like the old days. FDR had Happy Days are Here Again, Eisenhower had I Like Ike, Johnson had All the Way with LBJ. All we have today is Hillary’s slogan, Not Technically the Target of a Criminal Investigation.

Joe Biden was begged to run for president by editorials in leading liberal newspapers Tuesday. It is amazing. Three months ago, he was a national joke and a nightly punch line but then the Democrats got a good look at Hillary and Bernie and suddenly Joe Biden looks like the fifth face on Mt. Rushmore.

— Argus Hamilton

In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.

Over the weekend in Iran, temperatures reached 165 degrees, one of the highest temperatures ever recorded on earth. In fact, it was so hot in Iran, American flags burst into flames on their own.

— Jimmy Fallon

Among the debaters tomorrow night is Ben Carson who is a neurosurgeon. Carson says he’s not there to debate, he’s there to diagnose exactly what’s wrong with Donald Trump.

— Conan


So, I was walking through the mall and I saw that there was a “Muslim Book Store.” I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.

I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and Mexicans?”

The clerk said, “[Bleep] off, get out and stay out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

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