Today’s Toons 5/11/15

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A new report shows that 181 Clinton Foundation donors also lobbied the State Department when Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State. No connection. I’m sure all those donations were strictly for email server maintenance.

Scientists now predict that the risk of a mega quake in California in the next 30 years is higher than was previously thought. So Jerry Brown’s driving everyone out of the state with high taxes as a safety precaution?

The Environmental Protection Agency is spending $84,000 to study how churches can be used to combat climate change. So… they’re finally admitting that green energy doesn’t have a prayer?

— Fred Thompson

Brooklyn-born Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders used his announcement Thursday to dwell on income inequality in America. He vowed to raise taxes and redistribute the wealth. The difference between death and taxes is, Democrats can’t think of a way to make death any worse than it already is.

President Obama got rave reviews for his annual comedy monologue performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner at the Capitol Hilton in Washington D.C. The president always has some really funny material. The lines that get the biggest laughs become next year’s Middle East policy.

Hillary Clinton gave a speech at a black-tie dinner at Columbia University Tuesday where she made two points about the riots in Baltimore. First, she demanded an end to mass incarceration in America. Then at the end of the speech, she asked for the three hundred thousand dollars, out of habit.

President Obama was interviewed by a panel of sixth graders in a D.C. library event that aired in classrooms nationwide Thursday. Twelve-year-old moderator Osman Yaya cut him off during a long-winded answer. The next day John Boehner invited Osman Yaya to address a joint session of Congress.

Hillary Clinton ripped her husband Bill’s tough-on-crime law he pushed when he was president Tuesday and slammed his welfare reforms. She said it ushered in the age of incarceration. Bill’s mother told him when he was a boy that you can tell a lot about a girl by the way she slashes your tires.

Maryland former governor Martin O’Malley said Sunday he will announce for the Democratic nomination for president in Baltimore. He was touring riot-torn neighborhoods. Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton was in L.A. and ordered her driver to take her through the rough part of Beverly Hills.

Bill Clinton told an NBC News interviewer Sunday even though Hillary Clinton is running for president he will keep making half-million dollar speeches. He looked healthy. Bill had just returned from a tour of Kenya, proving that Hillary is dead serious about carrying Barack Obama’s home state.

Hillary Clinton will be in Beverly Hills Thursday for luncheon and dinner fundraisers at private homes of movie directors and TV producers. The interests of politicians and entertainment figures often intersect. For instance, Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby want to know if Bruce Jenner is a woman yet.

President Obama struggled to convince Democrats to vote for his Trans Pacific Free Trade bill Tuesday. To get Democrats to vote for the bill, Obama promised to campaign for them, but that didn’t work. To get the Democrats to vote for the bill, he should have threatened to campaign for them.

President Obama slipped away from the White House last Friday for an afternoon stroll around his D.C. neighborhood and wound up at the local Starbucks. He really had a good time. President Obama doesn’t carry cash on him, so he traded three Taliban prisoners for a Mocha Caffe Frappuccino.

Bill Clinton defended the integrity of Clinton Foundation donations in an interview on NBC Sunday. He cleverly used the future tense, saying the foundation never took money to influence U.S. policy, but Bill didn’t deny taking money after U.S. policy had been changed. He’s saying they don’t take bribes, they take tips.

— Argus Hamilton

According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, “Actually I just made that poll up.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Apparently there are incriminating texts and emails about what they call deflate-gate. Earlier today Hillary Clinton announced that she would be happy to delete them.

— Letterman

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