This Thread Brought To You By The Letters R & P:
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
After announcing that she won’t run in 2016, Democrat Senator Barbara Boxer bragged “I have about a thousand accomplishments”. True. All of which will need to be fixed at some point.
As President Obama addressed the nation regarding national cyber security efforts, ISIS hackers took over a Pentagon Twitter account. Big deal. Log in to HealthCare.gov – THEN I’ll be impressed.
— Fred Thompson
The White House was slammed Thursday for refusing to refer to the Paris cartoonist murderers as radical Islamist terrorists. It’s had a chilling effect on comedy. You couldn’t help but notice that in the next day’s Washington Post editorial cartoon President Obama’s ears were a lot smaller than usual.
USA Today published a study on the political effect of cable news networks on viewers. It makes sense. The survey says watching Fox News makes you more conservative, watching MSNBC makes you more liberal and if you watch CNN you never think any airplane is going to land safely or be found.
Mexico’s President Enrique Pena Niete and his aides arrived in Washington D.C. Tuesday to meet with President Obama at the White House. It was just more of the same. Mexico’s president wasn’t in the United States three hours before Homeland Security admitted they’ve completely lost track of him.
President Obama addressed a cheering group of Democrats in Tucson Thursday where he took credit for the success of his programs. The young people ate it up. Billboard magazine says Dr. Dre made over six hundred million dollars last year so don’t say that Obamacare has hurt medical providers.
French police pursued the al-Qaeda killers who murdered Paris cartoonists Tuesday for printing cartoons of Prophet Mohammed and they got machine-gunned for being sacrilegious. Comedians live in a precarious world. You get the same reaction if you tell an Obama joke at the Academy Awards.
Paris hosted a huge street rally led by Western leaders Sunday in support of comedic free speech in the face of recent Islamist terror acts against it. Not everyone was caught up in the spirit of defiance. Sony Pictures just informed Seth Rogan they’ve canceled his upcoming movie Muhammed the Musical.
The Justice Department may prosecute David Petraeus for telling his mistress secrets while CIA Director two years ago. He got caught with three women and resigned. The sex scandal cost General Petraeus the GOP nomination for president, but it virtually guarantees him the Democratic nomination.
Joe Biden flew to Brazil last week to try to mend relations with Brazil’s government that’s angry over NSA spying on Brazil. He has a natural curiosity for the country. After Joe landed, he told reporters he was thrilled to be in the Amazon, because he always wanted to see where books come from.
Minority Leader Senator Harry Reid suffered a busted jaw, a black eye and two broken ribs while working out at home. He looks like a mess. The top Democrat is recovering at home rather than at the hospital because, sadly for Harry, he did not break enough bones to meet his Obamacare deductible.
The White House admitted Monday President Obama should’ve attended the anti-terrorism rally in Paris. The press secretary said the president wasn’t told of the rally. From now on whenever world events are breaking to which President Obama must respond, the ESPN anchor will tug on his right ear.
The White House refused to disclose President Obama’s strategy for emptying Guantanamo Bay prison despite so many released terrorists returning to the battlefield. Obama hasn’t had much success in the area of prisoner rehabilitation. Even the turkey he pardoned last November is back in jail.
GOP senators pushed a bill to keep President Obama from releasing more Guantanamo inmates back home to Yemen. It’s part of his broader Middle East strategy. He ended the war in Iraq and he ended the war in Afghanistan by invoking the Obama Doctrine, which states that you can’t win them all.
Democratic Congressman Andre Carson of Indiana was appointed by House leadership Sunday to be the first Muslim ever to sit on the House Intelligence Committee. His first hearing set the tone. He’s totally okay with targeted assassinations after he caught a committee witness doodling his picture.
President Obama called a conference in two weeks to find ways to combat what he called violent extremism. He refuses to call it radical Muslim terrorism. If Obama had been Paul Revere, he would have shouted for everybody along the Midnight Ride to get dressed, get dressed, the cousins are coming.
Secret Service Director Joe Clancy ordered improvements in White House security to protect President Obama from fence jumpers. The dogs work a lot harder at protecting the president than the agents do. That’s because the dogs know that the president never ate Secret Service agents when he was a boy.
John Boehner was targeted for assassination by the bartender at his Ohio country club Tuesday who admitted he planned to poison the Speaker’s wine. He does love his wine. Now the only person who can kill him is the Democrat who operates the intensity dial at the Speaker’s favorite tanning salon.
— Argus Hamilton
The film “Boyhood” won the Golden Globe for best drama. It follows one guy’s journey over the course of 12 years — or as Mitt Romney calls that, “running for president.”
— Jimmy Fallon
Mitt Romney is reportedly putting his 2012 election team back together. And somehow, miraculously, none of them were busy with other stuff.
— Seth Meyers
John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn’t that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?
President Obama is focused now on cyber security. He’s pushing for new laws to protect companies from hackers. And who better to do that than the people who brought us the Obamacare website? Not only couldn’t hackers get in, no one could penetrate it.
— Jimmy Kimmel
A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.
A congressman sent a tweet that compared president Obama to Adolf Hitler. He has now apologized. It’s not helping that he apologized to Hitler.
I got an e-mail from the president that began:
This could make your Internet faster!
And I couldn’t help but think back to how he made health care more affordable.
— Are We Lumberjacks?
A cop kills a black man.
Liberals: “ALL COPS ARE BAD!”
A crazed person shoots someone.
Liberals: “ALL GUNS ARE BAD!”
A Muslim kills innocent people for his God.
Liberals: “YOU CAN’T JUDGE ALL MUSLIMS BY THE ACTIONS OF A MINORITY!”
It’s this kind of logic that makes it impossible to take them seriously.
— The Libtard Show