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President Obama lifted the ban on goods imported from Cuba Wednesday in his announcement that normalized relations with the Castro regime. The lifting of the ban on imported goods from Cuba caused much sadness for liberals. It’s the clearest indication yet that the president hasn’t quit smoking.
The White House struck a deal with Cuba Wednesday in which the U.S. traded three Cuba spies being held prisoner in the U.S. in exchange for one U.S. spy being held in Cuba. You can’t make it up. The U.S. government cannot even pull off a spy swap without running up a two hundred percent deficit.
President Obama delivered remarks to the U.S. Export Council at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. He revealed plans to spend four hundred million to promote U.S. competitiveness abroad. President Obama assured the council that he remains focused upon Amercia’s number-one export, jobs.
President Obama charmed a Jewish gathering at the White House Hanukkah party by telling the crowd he’s Jewish in his soul. He’s multicultural to the core. President Obama has black supporters in Los Angeles who never believed he was half-white until they saw a picture of him drinking a Bud Lite.
Kim Jung Un’s hackers vowed to destroy Sony Studios for insulting Kim Jung Un if The Interview is released. Kim’s CIA profile says that Kim likes to snort coke, date teen-aged girls, drink expensive Cognac and enjoy NBA basketball. You’d think he would spare Hollywood out of professional courtesy.
President Obama said he’s often been mistaken as a valet in hotel driveways and white people routinely him tossed him their keys. That sounds like a tall tale. Six years ago, whites mistook him for a moderate and blacks mistook him for a civil rights champion, but nobody mistook him for a Mexican.
The Writers Guild of America announced its annual awards ceremony will be simulcast from Los Angeles and New York. They’ll honor the best movie and TV scripts. Yesterday I finished writing my first comedy movie screenplay, and this afternoon, my agent will submit it to North Korea for approval.
President Obama took off for Hawaii on a two-week vacation on Friday where he will relax with his pals, play golf, watch a lot of football and basketball on TV and catch up on movies. Doesn’t he ever like to change things around? The idea of a vacation is to get away from your day-to-day routine.
North Korea’s government accused the Obama Administration Tuesday of producing the movie The Interview to embarrass Kim Jung Un. Kim’s pride is wounded. Kim Jung Un has been furious ever since North Korean spies returned from the U.S. and told him that Dennis Rodman is not Barack Obama.
President Obama completely avoided TV news cameras Wednesday despite rioting in Missouri and New York City over racial tensions between black men and cops. The man needs his rest. Fellow golfers say President Obama is a pretty good golfer for a guy who only plays six or seven times a week.
— Argus Hamilton
The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress — or as Republicans who called Obama said, “Close, but no cigar.”
— Seth Meyers