Today’s Toons 12/15/14

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Charles Barkley defended cops after the Ferguson rioting, saying black neighborhoods would be the Wild West without them. The protests angered many. At a high school football game in Texas Friday, every time the ref signaled touchdown, the crowd booed him for making an anti-police gesture.

President Obama decided to name Pentagon career official Ashton Carter as Defense Secretary and met with him Friday. He is a theoretical physicist. The president wants to know how he can theoretically put a hundred thousand troops back in Iraq without letting their boots touch the ground.

U.S. News and World Report reported that United States national debt reached eighteen trillion dollars Friday. However, none of the three major broadcast TV networks mentioned the milestone in their evening newscasts. The United States hasn’t been attacked by this many zeros since Pearl Harbor.

The White House refused to deny reports Friday that President Obama is going to slap sanctions on Israel over settlements on the West Bank. His combativeness toward Israel is reflexive. Obama never got over his boyhood horror in Indonesia when he learned that the Jews killed six million Nazis.

Hillary Clinton gave a foreign policy address Thursday and recommended the U.S. deploy smart power around the world and learn to empathize with our enemies. She lectured the Palestinians and Israelis how to live together side-by-side even though they hate each other. No one’s better qualified.

President Obama commented on BET about the angry black protests Sunday by saying America is rooted in racism. The media just loves to fuel the fire. George Zimmerman’s wife divorced him last year saying that he has become two different people, a Hispanic at home and a white guy on the news.

George W. Bush stood by the CIA Sunday when CBS News asked him about the Senate revealing U.S. torture against terrorists when he was president. It’s gotten worse since. President Obama just sent six terrorists from Guantanamo to Uruguay, giving old German Nazis a chance to rehabilitate them.

President Obama asked Congress for and obtained a ninety-day extension Monday for the NSA to monitor phone calls in the U.S. for terrorist activity. The NSA Director assured Congress that the NSA does not use the information on political opponents. That’s the IRS’s job and they’re a different union.

Prince William arrived at the White House Monday to discuss with President Obama ways to halt the illegal trade in wildlife in Africa. The timing had to be just right. In order to get any help, William had to give President Obama time to cool off after he got trampled by elephants a month ago.

Prince William flew from New York to Washington D.C. Monday for a visit with President Obama at the White House about his wildlife foundation. The two chatted in the Oval Office for two hours. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power anymore and the future King of England.

Senator Dianne Feinstein took the floor Tuesday to release a Democratic report ripping the CIA and the Bush Administration for torturing terrorists. She had the president’s full backing. Congress was never shown the report because it’s against U.S. government policy to negotiate with Republicans.

President Obama and Prince William discussed the prince’s Africa wildlife protection foundation in their White House meeting on Monday. As an added treat, William was given a tour of the West Wing. He wanted to see where the president spends his days, but the golf course was covered in snow.

Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton flew home to London Wednesday after a three-day whirlwind of events in New York and Washington D.C. During their stay, the Royal Couple hung out with Obama, Jay-Z, Beyonce and LeBron. By the time they got home they simply hated law enforcement.

Senator Dianne Feinstein released a report demanding the CIA interrogate terrorists in a manner in line with our U.S. values. Let a thousand flowers bloom. Now that ISIS knows we’ve cleaned up our act and will no longer dunk them in water maybe they’ll reciprocate and behead us with sharper knives.

President Obama performed a hilarious mock editorial on Colbert Report on Comedy Central Monday. He got huge laughs kidding himself about his low approval ratings, lampooning the GOP’s alternative health care plan for poor people and by joking about Obamacare. Obama could leave office with a ninety percent approval rating if he can forget about governing and do what he does best.

— Argus Hamilton

It turns out that President Obama has acid reflux. He had a sore throat, went to the hospital, and they diagnosed it as acid reflux. Talk about irony — it’s not covered by Obamacare.

— Letterman

President Obama was diagnosed with acid reflux. His approval rating is so low that he’s starting to get pushback from his esophagus.

— Jimmy Kimmel

This morning President Obama met with Britain’s Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power and the future king of England.

— Conan

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