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In Case You Missed It Dept.:
The International Tax Competitiveness Index ranking puts the US at 32 out of 34 industrialized countries. Clarification for Obama – just like golf, lower numbers are better.
From Nancy Pelosi’s Twitter: “an American family can’t just change their address to avoid paying taxes.” Absolutely. Ask any Californian in Tennessee.
— Fred Thompson
President Obama went on TV Thursday and welcomed the offer by France to help the U.S. battle ISIS in Syria and Iraq. They’re always a big help. This summer, Disneyworld in Paris set off a huge fireworks show on the Fourth of July, and after ten minutes, France surrendered.
HHS said the number of people on Obamacare dropped a million to seven million this past month. That’s how many people didn’t pay their first premium. As for the seven million remaining, wait until they go to the doctor and find out that they signed up for Amazon Prime.
— Argus Hamilton
During a speech this week, Joe Biden referred to Asia as the “Orient,” just hours after he apologized for using another term that offended Jewish people. The White House calls Biden’s remarks “unfortunate,” while Obama calls them “a welcomed distraction.”
Chicago is reversing its plan to name a high school after President Obama after it received multiple complaints from people in the community. I guess parents were afraid their kids would spend eight years at the school and still not get anything done. (Click to watch)
The White House has been having big security issues lately, after an intruder actually managed to jump the fence and make it inside. The White House actually said they will start locking the doors. When asked if he wanted a key, Biden said, “I’m fine just using the doggie door.”
In an interview, Bill Clinton hinted that his daughter Chelsea’s baby is due in early October. Though it got weird when reporters asked if it’s a boy or a girl, and Hillary said, “I haven’t decided yet.”
President Obama is facing criticism over an incident yesterday where he was holding a cup of coffee in his hand, and then used that same hand to salute a Marine. Though with all that’s going on in the world, I’m surprised he didn’t salute with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. “Yeah just call me, you know, if I’m around. It’ll be fun.”
Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that he is resigning after five years with the administration. Obama said, “Wait, you can do that?”
Political reporters are complaining that the White House has been asking them to edit some of their stories to make the president look better. The White House said that’s not true, and those reporters should please change what they said.
— Jimmy Fallon
The Secret Service is under investigation after two different men made it onto the White House grounds this weekend after jumping the fence. Said President Obama, “Jumping the fence, huh? Why didn’t I think of that?”
— Seth Meyers
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It’s being called “Operation Approval Ratings.”
The White House has re-evaluated its security and today they announced they’ll start locking the front door. They’re also going to start asking who’s there when someone knocks.
President Obama is being criticized for saluting a soldier while holding a pumpkin spice latte. Today he sincerely apologized while eating a maple glazed doughnut.
The White House posted a video that got people upset. The president saluted two Marines with a cup of coffee in his hand. It’s not the first time Obama’s done something like this. Remember that time he said The Pledge of Allegiance while holding a Hot Pocket? Or when he visited an aircraft carrier with a $5 footlong? The man never learns.
– Jimmy Kimmel
The Secret Service is under scrutiny after a man jumped a fence and entered the White House. In their defense, when they saw a crazed maniac running down the White House lawn, they assumed it was Biden.
— Craig Ferguson