Today’s Toons 9/8/14

Click for related Dr. 0 audio:

Click for related story:

Click below for Tony’s toons:

Click for related story:

This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Russian troops invaded southeast Ukraine on Thursday to seize the land corridor which connects Russia to Crimea below Ukraine. Hope is slipping fast now. President Obama went on TV and promised the Ukrainian people if they like their corridor, they get to keep their corridor.

The IRS admitted it erased Lois Lerner’s Blackberry after she was subpoenaed to testify in Congress. This scandal could be converted to good use. If the Republicans really want to destroy ISIS they should endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take them down.

President Obama stunned reporters Thursday telling them doesn’t yet have a strategy to deal with ISIS terrorists. It’s not from lack of trying. President Obama just spent two weeks consulting with his top advisor, but what does Hank Haney know about eradicating terrorism?

Burger King bought a Canadian donut firm, sparking rumors it’s off to Canada for lower taxes. A new Forbes survey says Canadians are now wealthier than Americans per capita. Six years ago, the U.S. was the world’s only superpower, and here we are today, Canada’s Mexicans.

President Obama is reportedly preparing to announce an executive order addressing the problem of illegal immigration. How about a twelve-hundred-mile-long WalMart along the border? Americans can use the front to shop, Mexicans can use the rear to work, and everybody’s happy.

Prime Minister David Cameron addressed Parliament and proposed stripping jihaddists of British citizenship and visas. He vowed to protect British values f or generations to come. Meanwhile President Obama wages war like he’s afraid the enemy’s going to call Child Services.

Barack Obama admitted Thursday he has no strategy against ISIS in Syria yet. It became a partisan issue. Democrats say he just wants to get it right, and Republicans believe Obama will develop a strategy against ISIS when they threaten to decapitate the heads of his golf clubs.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Friday that America is no longer capable of being the world’s policeman. There’s evidence to the contrary. The same day Angela Merkel claimed the U.S. is no longer the world’s policeman, a survey showed Americans eat the most doughnuts.

The FBI is probing the hacking of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Scarlett Johannsen ‘s private nude photos. They’d stored the photos on their iPhones. Once they catch the hacker, it should be hilarious watching the U.S. government prosecute somebody for invasion of privacy.

President Obama was moved by Democrats to shelve any executive order giving amnesty to illegal aliens. That’s ironic in this case. Proponents of the Immigration Reform Bill say illegal aliens will do the jobs that Americans refuse to do, jobs like running the U.S. government.

President Obama flew to Wisconsin Monday to give a Labor Day speech and try to fire up the Democrats for this fall’s election. It’s so difficult to break out of your daily routine and travel. President Obama was going to play a round of golf, but then he remembered it’s a holiday.

President Obama left for Europe without commenting on Tuesday’s ISIS atrocity. The fact that the Joint Chiefs didn’t resign means that retaliatory action is being planned. Otherwise people would start wondering if ISIS has to dress like cops to get a rise out of this administration.

Republicans and Democrats demanded President Obama respond to ISIS Tuesday during TV interviews. The U.S. policy to date is under fire. President Obama won’t attack ISIS in Syria until Michelle Obama is convinced their vending machines are selling Snickers bars to children.

President Obama said Tuesday the U.S. will destroy ISIS and then said ISIS could be a manageable problem. His opponents just went ballistic. Coors Lite needs a can that shows the mountains changing colors to warn you when your uncle is going to start talking about Obama.

— Argus Hamilton

Texas Senator Ted Cruz has invited President Obama to play golf on the U.S.-Mexico border. Cruz thought it was a funny way to point out problems the president hasn’t fixed yet. While Obama said, “So are we playing or not?” /font>

President Obama will attend a NATO summit in Wales this week with 67 other world leaders. He’s trying to project strength, so the White House says he’ll be wearing his toughest shade of tan suit.

Yesterday John Kerry joined five previous secretaries of state at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new diplomacy museum. Sorry, I just fell asleep saying that.

— Jimmy Fallon

President Obama is back on the job, and he’s visiting Estonia. He said he wanted to be there before Russian tanks rolled in.

— Letterman

Over the weekend the White House chef married an MSNBC news anchor. Or as Fox News reported it, “Person who serves the president marries person who serves the president.”

— Conan

It’s a big holiday today. President Obama spent the day golfing. Then he remembered it was a holiday.

— Craig Ferguson


Why do they even let her say anything in public as stupid as she is? Harvard-educated First Lady Michelle Obama reminded attendees of a naturalization ceremony Wednesday that the Founding Fathers weren’t born in America. The ceremony for 50 new U.S. citizens was held at the National Archives in Washington, D.C. She said during her speech, referring to the Declaration of Independence, “It’s amazing that just a few feet from here where I’m standing are the signatures of the 56 Founders who put their names on a Declaration that changed the course of history, and like the 50 of you, none of them were born American – they became American.”

Did she actually mean that those who signed the Declaration of Independence and participated in the drafting of the Constitution were not born in America?

Benjamin Franklin was born in Pennsylvania and Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, and James Madison were born in Virginia. John Adams was born in Massachusetts.

Surely she must know this. But then again, maybe not. After all, she is a Harvard graduate.

comments powered by Disqus