Today’s Toons 8/25/14

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

President Obama went back to his vacation on Martha’s Vineyard after spending less than 48 hours in DC. He was probably kicking himself for leaving his list of tee times in the Oval Office.

President Obama commented on the rising cost of education “we can’t just keep throwing money at the problem”. So… he’s thinking some sort of conveyor belt system.

A reporter took a jab at Hillary Clinton acting like royalty, asking “who gets to hold her crown while she speaks?” Silly question: the person to the right of whoever holds her scepter, of course.

— Fred Thompson

Gaza violence erupted again Thursday as ISIS crucified Christians in Iraq while St. Louis endured race riots and the nation wept over the loss of Robin Williams. Talk about a tough week. It makes you long for the good old days when Ebola was on a flight on its way to Atlanta.

The State Department announced it’s giving Ukraine the money to build a border fence to keep the Russians out. How brilliant. It allows President Obama to keep his campaign promise he’d build a border fence without it costing Democrats the Hispanic vote in November.

The White House saluted Iraq Friday on its change of government as a first step to ending civil strife. There was other good news on the international front. The same day, the Middle East sent diplomats to the United States to try to negotiate a cease-fire in Missouri.

John Kerry failed to pacify Chinese-Vietnamese tensions in the South China Sea Friday. He failed to stop the Gaza fighting, the Syrian civil war, and ISIS slaughter in Iraq. Back in high school science class John Kerry invented a smoke alarm that lets you sleep an extra ten minutes.

The White House said Friday it’s closely monitoring the crisis on the Russian-Ukrainian border, the Israeli-Hamas war, the ISIS slaughter in Iraq and riots in Ferguson. President Obama rushed back to the White House from Martha’s Vineyard Sunday. He forgot his five-iron.

President Obama ordered fifteen air strikes in Iraq against ISIS forces Monday. He sent the bombers to drive back the rebellious Sunnis, which protects the defenseless Kurds and intimidates the treacherous Shiites. So you see, Obamacare does cover pre-existing conditions.

Forbes published a poll showing the Puritan Work Ethic is alive and well in America . The survey showed only twenty-five percent use all their paid vacation time. Seventy-five percent of Americans use just part of their paid vacation time and give the rest to President and Mrs. Obama.

President Obama sent Attorney General Eric Holder to Ferguson to monitor U.S. efforts to calm the situation. There is no doubt of the president’s interest in this case. Just yesterday, President Obama ordered all eighteen flags at the Vineyard Golf Club to be flown at half-staff.

— Argus Hamilton

A survey found that 75 percent of Americans don’t use up all their vacation days. While the rest apparently loaned them to President Obama. He’s on vacation again!

Hillary Clinton is returning to Iowa next month for the first time since her failed presidential run in 2008. Hillary denies just being there for politics. She said, “I love Iowa for their . . . OK, I’m running for president.”

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon apparently sent the National Guard to Ferguson without letting the White House know first. When he heard he was left out of such an important decision, Obama said, “Holy crap, I’ve been Bidened!”

— Jimmy Fallon

Toward the end of the game, Johnny Manziel gave Washington the finger. Coincidentally, that’s Barack Obama’s exit strategy from Washington.

Anthony Weiner is opening a restaurant. Honest to God, how many of you — other than losing a bet, how many of you would go to have a meal at Anthony Weiner’s restaurant?

— Letterman

Analysts say that President Obama has been ignoring Hillary Clinton’s advice for years — which is why we’ve yet to see him in a pantsuit.

— Conan

ISIS threatening attack in Chicago. Shouldn’t they pick a city where it would be noticed?

— Stilton Jarlsburg

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