Today’s Toons 7/14/14

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Despite the IRS spending $4 billion on IT contracts, IRS Commissioner John Koskinen blamed “declining budget resources” for Lois Lerner’s lost emails. Yeah, for another couple of billion he could have lost the rest of them.

President Obama said he plans to send 200 more troops to Iraq to bolster security. In other words, about the size of his security detail when he goes to see Jay-Z in N.Y.

In Pennsylvania, police report that a woman masqueraded as a medical doctor and performed physicals on patients in her home. So, basically the Obamacare “Bronze” plan?

NASA was forced to cancel the launch of a satellite designed to track global warming. A devastating blow to the program, since you can’t fudge data unless you collect if first.

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest commented on the Hobby Lobby case: “the constitutional lawyer in the Oval Office disagrees” Oh… you mean constitutional lawyer the unconstitutional law is named after?

Josh Earnest said the White House is considering action that would “mitigate” the Hobby Lobby decision. Yes, that tiny scrap of religious freedom is really threatening to get out of hand.

A new report shows that not only is Hillary’s “Hard Choices” not selling, a lot of readers quit about 30 pages in. On the bright side: tons of people are finally fixing their “short leg of the couch” problem.

— Fred Thompson

Texas Governor Rick Perry invited President Obama to visit the U.S. border area with him when he comes to Texas but the president resisted. He’s seen enough of people jumping over fences. Already three White House Counsels and a press secretary have escaped that way.

Mexican traffickers were caught on video hauling illegal immigrant kids from one side of the Rio Grande to the other aboard jet skis. It’s a crisis. It turns out that there’s a three-inch fish that’s been displaced by the wake of the jet skis, and now the Democrats are calling for impeachment.

President Obama was rated the worst president in the last seventy years Thursday . It’s recent. He was in the middle of the pack until two weeks ago, when he didn’t have any cash in the Palm Springs pro shop and had to trade three Guantanamo prisoners for a bucket of balls.

Israel deployed its Iron Dome defense to shoot down the missiles Hamas fired at Tel Aviv Tuesday. The Israelis shot down all forty missiles. President Obama weighed in, asking Israel if they have anything that can shoot down the incoming questions about his immigration policy.

Hillary Clinton took her book tour to London Tuesday where she said the Clinton name didn’t help her run against Obama six years ago. It raised a few eyebrows. Like a lot of women in Washington, Hillary’s just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing.

President Obama dared Congress to sue him if they don’t like the laws he’s going to enact without Congress. His timing was unfortunate. On July 4th, a guy on the radio read the middle part of the Declaration of Independence and it sounded just like an anti-Obama rant.

— Argus Hamilton

House Speaker John Boehner is threatening to sue President Obama for using executive actions to create laws, instead of going through Congress first. Then Obama shrugged and made a new law that you can’t sue the president.

— Jimmy Fallon

Number of black people owned as slaves in the Muslim world today: 27,000,000. Number of times this fact is mentioned on liberal Facebook pages: 0. Compassion. It’s a liberal thing.

Only a liberal could like the idea of huge masses of foreign parents abandoning their children, sending them to cross our border illegally without adult supervision, so that they can live in crowded holding pens and be subjected to rape, disease and abuse. That’s what liberals call compassion.

If the people swarming over our Southern border were all religious Christian conservatives, liberals would demand that the Army defend our border and shoot anyone crossing it until an electrified barbed wire fence could be completed.

— Dixon Diaz

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