Today’s Toons 6/9/14

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

A National Journal columnist said that “the VA scandal is not an Obamacare preview”. True. Technically, it’s more of a “foreshadowing”.

Johnny Depp is in talks to play the lead role in a movie about Harry Houdini. Shouldn’t Obama get the part? Look how many jobs he’s made disappear.

During a speech at the White House, Michelle Obama said “parents have a right to expect that their kids will get decent food in our schools.” And… what about a decent education?

CNN anchor Jim Clancy said that President Obama got an “icy reception” at his West Point speech. Climate change, I guess. He can expect it every time he uses these cadets as a backdrop.

During a speech at West Point, President Obama said that fighting “climate change” will “help shape your time in uniform.” Probably by making you want that time to be shorter.

President Obama said “we don’t leave our men or women in uniform behind”. Now we know. If our guys in Benghazi hadn’t been wearing khakis we would have tried to rescue them.

At a White House event, President Obama said “I learned so many lessons playing sports that I carry to this day”. Oh, like trading five star players for one 7th round draft pick?

— Fred Thompson

The United States has traded an American POW for five Taliban prisoners. Originally, the deal included Joe Biden, but the Taliban said no.

So these Taliban guys have been down there in Gitmo and now they’re on their way home. They’re flying home. How would you like to get stuck behind these guys at airport security?

I think the second term is getting to President Obama. He is saying that he wishes he could be anonymous. And I say: Hey, according to the new approval ratings, you’re pretty close.

— Letterman


A man is talking to his buddy at work one day, and says “You won’t believe what happened last night: my teenage daughter walks into the living room and says, ‘Dad, please cancel my allowance, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window. Also reclaim my TV and laptop. Send all my jewelry to the Salvation Army and then sell my car, take my front door key away, and throw me out of the house immediately. When you’re done with that, legally disown me and never talk to me again. BTW, be sure to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.'”

“No kidding” replies the friend, “she actually said that?”

“Naw, I’m just paraphrasing. What she actually said was ‘Dad, I want you to meet my new boyfriend Mohammed…we’re going to work together on Hillary’s 2016 election campaign!'”


The Washington Redskins are changing their name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, hatred, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, violence, counter-productivity, ill-spirit, un-Godliness, and hostility associated with their name. From now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.

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