Today’s Toons 3/10/14

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Ronan Farrow received the Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism after only 3 days on the air. That seems so unfair. For doing nothing, you’re supposed to get a Nobel Peace Prize.

The IRS issued a warning that people who don’t buy Obamacare this year will face a “shared responsibility payment” next year. All of which the government will spend on the ink to write “shared responsibility payment” instead of “tax”.

In New Jersey, more than 1,000 people showed up at an Atlantic City casino, hoping to get one of 50 jobs it was offering. Unfortunately, “getting a job” is the game with the worst odds in the place.

Russia said that if the US tried to impose sanctions, they would take actions that would “crash” America’s financial system. OK – line forms behind Obama.

Vladimir Putin said he sees no immediate need to invade eastern Ukraine. Close call – Obama almost had to choose between making another idle threat and denying he made the first one.

A new report shows that home births have risen to the highest level in decades. Probably because it’s the only place you can go where you don’t have to worry they won’t take Obamacare.

— Fred Thompson

Arizona governor Jan Brewer vetoed the controversial RelIgious Freedom Bill Thursday in Tucson. It was bitterly opposed by gays. Social conservatives don’t want to say Brewer caved in to media pressure but when she signed the veto she was wearing a Jason Collins jersey.

Bill Clinton rocked the house at a Democratic Party Senate race fundraiser in Kentucky Tuesday in a Louisville hotel ballroom. It was like old times for him. After the speech, Bill went into the hotel bar and asked for the usual, and the waitress gave him a restraining order.

Attorney General Eric Holder was reported feeling fine after he was briefly hospitalized Thursday when he suffered a dizzy spell. His work never ends. Next month he will attend baseball’s Opening Day in Washington where he’s scheduled to throw out the first amendment.

Hillary Clinton’s health came under question Friday as reporters sought medical records of her home accident last year. She got dizzy, passed out and hit her head on Bill’s desk on the way down. It was an oddity, most women hit their heads on Bill’s desk on the way up.

Virginia law professor Jonathan Turley chided President Obama in House testimony for enacting laws without Congress. It’s getting out of hand. Last week President Obama issued an order to expand Obamacare to cover a DNA test to see if you are Frank Sinatra’s son.

Hillary Clinton said Thursday she’d be glad to alter Obamacare to improve it. Congress is in a standoff. Many people are hoping for the Democratic leaders to cave in, but if you’re waiting for Nancy Pelosi to blink you may have to wait awhile, it may not be technically possible.

Secretary of State John Kerry went on Meet the Press Sunday and chastised the Russians for breaking three different international treaties by seizing the Crimea from Ukraine. White House response was swift and angry. President Obama just threatened to unfriend Putin on Facebook.

Ukrainian fighter jets turned back Russian jets that strayed into Ukraine airspace Monday after Ukraine lost Crimea. It gets worse. President Obama announced that the White House is setting up a website where Ukrainians can sign up for military assistance under ObamaWar.

The White House weighed options on how to isolate Russia over the invasion of Ukraine Monday. The situation gets more dangerous daily. As a last resort, President Obama could always declare Russia to be a conservative political action group, and let the IRS take them out.

The New Republic admitted Tuesday that Sarah Palin was right when she predicted six years ago that Obama’s foreign policy would result in Putin invading Ukraine. She has been hounded by reporters all week. They all want to know who she likes in the Kentucky Derby.

Hillary Clinton accused Russia of acting like Nazis Tuesday a day after Putin accused the Ukrainians of being Nazis. It’s so exasperating. Arizonans are wondering how Ukraine and Russia took away their title without denying entrance to one illegal immigrant from Mexico.

President Obama sent his proposed annual budget to Congress on Tuesday. It spelled out the White House agenda. If you’re a gay Mexican marijuana grower who snuck across the border for a free hernia operation so you could join the U.S. Navy, this is the best year of your life.

— Argus Hamilton

President Obama is steamed. He says to Putin, “Pull your troops out of Crimea or the U.S. will not attend the next G-8 summit.” Well, that will show him. Putin will think twice about it now. Last thing he wants to do is offend the United States so they stay home from a summit meeting.

— Letterman

A 10-year-old in Ohio has been suspended after pretending his finger was a gun and aiming it at another student. Just wait until school officials find out he was in possession of nine other guns.

— Seth Meyers

Because of Russia’s actions in Ukraine, President Obama is threatening them with economic sanctions. Obama said if Russia doesn’t pull out of Kiev we’re not going to let them borrow any of the money that we borrowed from China.

The White House announced a change to Obamacare. They keep making adjustments. They say people can now keep their insurance plans for two more years. When asked what would happen after two years, Obama said, “After two years, I don’t give a damn.”

— Conan

Obama’s approval rating is at an all-time low. He has a plan to make him look better. It is called letting Joe Biden make a speech.

— Colin Ferguson

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