Today’s Toons 2/24/14

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The Wall Street Journal reports that a “glitch” in the design of their high-tech suits may have caused the speedskating team’s disappointing performances at the Olympics. Good to know the team can still find work.

The new Obamacare business mandate requires firms not to fire anyone unless they swear that Obamacare was not a motivating factor in their staffing decisions. Sure. Just like a gun in your ribs isn’t a factor in handing your wallet to a stranger.

Psychiatrists say this miserably cold & snowy winter is bringing on a “tremendous amount of Seasonal Affective Disorder” depression. Hardest hit: Global warming enthusiasts.

— Fred Thompson

The White House was accused of being disconnected from reality Monday when they said Obamacare will liberate people from having to work to get health care. They said that the free time will allow people to get together with their families. On paper, that’s a wonderful idea.

The Washington Post ripped President Obama Friday for making laws by executive orders without Congress. It’s perfectly legal. Law professors say his executive orders are unconstitutional but it’s not true, he just issued an executive order making them constitutional.

Senate Democrats up for re-election this fall asked President Obama to stay away and not to campaign for them. Everything is spinnable. The White House won’t say that President Obama’s popularity is plummeting, they prefer to say he just won the gold in the Men’s Downhill.

Washington D.C. was buried by a foot of snow Thursday which shut down U.S. government offices and both houses of Congress. The reaction was swift. Responding to orders from the White House, the National Weather Service blamed the shutdown on Speaker John Boehner.

President Obama met up with Jordan’s King Abdullah in Rancho Mirage Saturday. They had a tutorial . Obama wanted to learn from the king how to advance the Mideast peace process and the king wanted to learn from Obama how to run an out-of-control population by executive order.

Joe Biden struck again Friday when he told House Democrats they should be optimistic about America despite who’s president. The vice president is Irish on both sides but he takes after his mother’s side. His father’s side are the Bidens and his mother’s side are the Gaffadays

President Obama played golf on Presidents Day for the third straight day Monday as he tried to improve his game in the California sunshine. It’s difficult for the president not to bring his job with him onto the golf course. After three days, he was seventeen trillion over par.

GOP strategist Karl Rove went on Meet the Press and advised Republicans not to attack Hillary Clinton by bringing up Bill’s sex scandals. That’s half the fun. There’s a statue of Bill Clinton at a public park in Ireland so lifelike it’s been arrested three times for public indecency.

USA Today reported Thursday that last week’s Arctic winter snow and ice storm knocked down power lines like bowling pins all over Georgia. Thousands of people haven’t had any electricity for almost a week. It’s as if President Obama has taken over the power company.

President Obama was urged by Chicago power brokers to locate his presidential library in the state of Illinois. The political atmosphere is colorful. Illinois is the only state whose present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by the previous governor.

Miley Cyrus placed a Bill Clinton mask on a crowd member at her concert in Canada and pretended to perform Monica Lewinsky’s act as she sang a song. Critics were appalled. They said it’s too soon after Shirley Temple‚Äôs death for anyone to be singing On the Good Ship Lollipop.

Joe Biden will sit down for an interview with the ladies of The View next week to convince young people to sign up for Obamacare. He’s so looking forward to the show. Joe Biden’s appearance on The View will fulfill his lifetime dream of being the smartest person in the room.

President Obama was in Fresno to bemoan the California drought Friday. Then he played golf in Palm Springs on courses that use up one-fourth of the underground water. The club members make up for all the millions of gallons of water they use by ordering their Scotch neat.

President Obama lectured Ukraine’s government on the rights of the Ukraine protestors Wednesday. The president had the full support of Capitol Hill. To get the U.S. Congress to back the protestors against the government, he told them that the government supports Obamacare.

President Obama urged Ukraine to respect the right of citizens to protest Wednesday and obey the will of the people. He said he’d have to consult Congress before taking any further action. And should that work, we might even consider bringing back the rest of the Constitution.

House Republicans moved to sue the president for enacting the Dream Act by executive order and not by a vote of Congress. It gives college scholarships to children of illegal aliens and it slaps a ten percent tax on all tanning booth sessions. Leave it to Democrats to subsidize brown people who want to be Americans and tax the Americans who want to be browner people.

— Argus Hamilton

President Obama met with Mexico’s president. This was a rare trip for Obama. Usually he sends Dennis Rodman.

— Letterman

It’s been reported in the news that President Obama asked HBO for copies of the upcoming season of “Game of Thrones.” You know things are bad in this country when even the White House can’t afford HBO.

— Conan

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