This Thread Brought To You By The Letters W & P:
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
In an effort to go green, Hamburg, Germany is studying ways to eliminate cars by 2034. Easy. Put Obama in charge of regulating your oil industry.
The Secret Service reports that an international counterfeiting ring has been pumping millions of dollars in phony $100 bills into New York City. Mayor de Blasio was quick to reassure citizens that – although fake – the bills were still 100% trans-fat free.
A new study shows that 96% of Democrats who support a minimum wage hike use unpaid volunteer interns. When asked about it, though, the Democrats DID say they’d be willing to give their interns a 2% cost-of-living raise.
At a hearing, Attorney General Eric Holder said he couldn’t explain the constitutional basis for President Obama’s executive order to delay the employer mandate. Can’t believe he missed that one. It’s right there in the “because he feels like it” clause.
The Justice Department is issuing new guidelines for how it can investigate the media. Just waiting for them to define “media” as “anyone with an email address”.
The Washington Free Beacon reports that White House officials sent out pre-formed tweets to the NFL players union to get football stars to tout Obamacare on game day. Yeah, nothing more credible on the issue than millionaires with their own medical staff.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio complained about all the recent snowstorms, saying they’re “really getting obnoxious”. What’s the matter Mr. Mayor? Don’t like competition?
FBI Director James Comey told Congress that the FBI investigation on Benghazi is a “top priority”. They’ll be all over it as soon as they finish their investigation into who assassinated Lincoln.
At a press conference, Nancy Pelosi swatted down rumors of retirement, saying “my work is not finished”. Apparently, somewhere in America, someone is still getting affordable, quality healthcare from a doctor they like.
A new study shows that states that elect liberals drink more alcohol than conservatives. Huh. Makes you wonder if that’s a cause or an effect.
A new poll shows that 73% of Democrats favor Hillary Clinton’s candidacy for the presidency in 2016. Apparently the other 27% have figured out what difference, at this point, it DOES make.
Several airlines are complaining that they’re being hit by a devastating shortage of pilots. On the bright side, thanks to Obamacare, there are a LOT of doctors looking to change careers.
— Fred Thompson
Barack Obama’s State of the Union had the lowest ratings in fifteen years Tuesday. It’s his fault. At the start of his speech, viewers heard the president vow to focus on more jobs, better education and health care reform and they turned the channel thinking it was a re-run.
Joe Biden spent the State of the Union speech scratching his nose, scratching his face, and scratching his hair on camera. Narcotics detectives were dismayed. The whole idea of watching TV at night is to get away from the people you have to deal with on the street all day.
Joe Biden struck again Friday while responding to Bob Gates’ assertion that he’s been wrong about foreign policy for forty years. Throughout his rebuttal, Joe referred to Bob Gates as Bill Gates. Last night Joe Biden’s train of thought derailed, there were no survivors.
President Obama went on the road Thursday where he faced hostile questions about Obamacare. He answered if you have trouble with the Obamacare website, you can always apply by mail. Only the federal government would develop a website that’s slower than mail.
The White House announced Monday that President Obama will visit Saudi Arabia and meet with King Abdullah in March. The Saudi way of thinking is the exact opposite of Western thinking. In California, for instance, we expose our women and cover up our oil.
John Kerry warned Israel at a Munich conference they may face world sanctions if they don’t accommodate Palestinians. This belongs on the Cooking Channel. It’s a blue-ribbon recipe from the International Appeasement Festival, held every seventy-five years in Munich.
Mexico President Enrique Pena Nieto will hosts President Obama next week in Mexico City’s presidential palace. It’s an annual exchange. Once a year, America’s president goes to Mexico to visit our jobs and once a year Mexico’s president comes to the U.S. to visit his people.
President Obama addressed a grade school class in Maryland Tuesday. He announced a plan to hook up every child in America to the Internet, and the children cheered. Then he told them that Obamacare is good for their families and they fell out of their seats laughing.
The CIA reportedly just deployed a spy plane that flies at a speed of six times the speed of sound high above the Earth. It can photograph anything or any person anywhere. The plane’s so good at spying that President Obama is already denying knowing anything about it.
The Los Angeles Times reports Obamacare paperwork has resulted in California doctors giving short shrift to new patients who are covered by Obamacare. It’s got young people afraid to go skiing. Instead of setting broken legs, their new doctors prescribe limping lessons.
The White House declared Tuesday Obamacare will allow Americans to quit working full time and free them to relax, enjoy their lives and pursue their dreams . Most people couldn’t believe what they were hearing. It was the first U.S. government statement ever issued in French.
President Obama’s health care law incited a firestorm Wednesday when a White House spokesman said it allows people to quit working full-time and enjoy their lives. It completely repudiates the Protestant work ethic. High Times magazine calls it an idea whose time come.
— Argus Hamilton
It is still cold all across the nation. It was so cold today that Al Gore called global warming a hoax.
Ratings for President Obama’s State of the Union address were the lowest in 14 years. The speech drew 33 million people, which is still pretty good — considering it was a rerun.
And the worst thing about losing this job, I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for Obamacare.
At the end of the interview O’Reilly said he thinks Obama’s “heart is in the right place.” What does that mean? That’s basically saying that I don’t think he’s destroying America intentionally.
— Jimmy Kimmel
Let’s talk about the big game yesterday. The Seahawks beat the Broncos 43-8. The Broncos are blaming it on a traffic study.