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In Case You Missed It Dept.:
National Security Council spokesperson Caitlin Hayden said of Vice President Biden, “President Obama relies on his good counsel every day”. And that would explain a LOT.
Gene Sperling, a top economic adviser to President Obama said “our economy still has three people looking for every one job opening”. Racing against 3 bureaucrats trying to regulate it out of existence.
According to Harvard Medical School scientists, using a smartphone, tablet, or laptop at bedtime may make it harder to get a good night’s sleep. Unless you go to HealthCare.Gov. You’ll be out before you can log on.
Police report a bank robbery was foiled in California when a bank teller couldn’t read the terrible handwriting in the robber’s hold-up note. Tragic what happens to doctors after Obamacare pushes them out of business.
A new study shows that religious people are less likely to be stressed, depressed, or exhausted. Probably because you don’t have to go to a government website to sign up for it.
President Obama said he wants to “mobilize” Americans around a “national mission”. Oh, I think the Obamacare rollout has already accomplished that.
The FBI is FINALLY contacting Tea Party groups targeted by the Internal Revenue Service for inappropriate scrutiny seven months after the investigation was supposed to have begun. Just wait until the government runs your hospital’s emergency room.
A new report points out that a little-discussed part of the Obamacare law provides billions of dollars to bail out insurance companies. How thoughtful of Obamacare to offer cement shoes AND water wings.
A new economic survey shows that half of US counties still haven’t recovered from Obama’s recession. The other half are still struggling to recover from Obama’s recovery.
— Fred Thompson
President Obama called in photographers to take photos of him meeting with Joe Biden. They’re photos Joe can use in the Democratic primaries in two years. In an effort to appear more presidential, Joe Biden is launching a website that doesn’t work.
President Obama created Promise Zones that spend tax dollars to help businesses in poor areas. It’s really bad out here. In Hollywood, the Ninety-Nine Cent Store is offering financing and in Beverly Hills this morning, a white guy was seen operating a leaf blower.
Senate Republicans balked at extending unemployment benefits without paying for it with government cuts Friday. It’s an embarrassing condition. Unemployed is an ugly word to Southern Californians, we prefer to see ourselves as recovering workaholics.
Robert Gates’ new book says that President Obama didn’t believe in his own Afghan strategy. Veterans are outraged. President Obama reacted fast and ordered his press secretary to change the subject back to the problems everybody’s having with Obamacare.
The White House fired Obamacare website designer CGI Federal on Friday and hired Accenture to fix the website. Enrolling has been a nightmare. Some people say they had to sit at the computer for nine straight hours, breaking the old record set by Anthony Weiner.
Governor Chris Christie held a two-hour news conference Thursday where he denied wrongdoing on the bridge closures. He fired people whose e-mails implicated them. He insisted that he’s not a bully, and he threatened to beat up any reporter who says otherwise.
President Obama launched a search for the location of his presidential library. His staff is pushing to build the library at his birthplace. Unfortunately the property values are so high in Hawaii, he’s decided to go back to his literary agent’s story that he was born in Kenya.
President Obama tried to improve the lives of unemployed people by creating Promise Zones Tuesday. It’s already better. Millions of Americans who live on unemployment used to dream that someday they’d make as much money as Alex Rodriguez, and now they do.
New Jersey governor Chris Christie went under probe for using Hurricane Sandy relief to make a New Jersey tourist video starring himself during an election year. It gets worse for him. Doctors told Chris if he doesn’t cut out fatty foods, his arteries are going to get a traffic study.
USA Today reports a bank robbery was foiled in Arizona last week due to a spectacular foul-up. The bank teller couldn’t read the terrible handwriting in the robber’s hold-up note. It’s just terrible what happens to doctors after Obamacare pushes them out of business.
The White House website published the recipe Thursday for President Obama’s home-brewed beer, which he brews himself in the president’s living quarters. That’s how bad the economy is. Not only is our president drinking, he’s drinking beer he made in his bathtub.
The FBI said Monday it found no lawbreaking in the IRS’s targeting of the Tea Party. Last summer the IRS admitted it was targeting conservative groups. President Obama called it an outrageous practice and said he’d immediately have his Benghazi investigators look into it.
Iran claimed victory over the West Tuesday when they revealed a secret paragraph in last month’s deal that allows Iran to continue upgrading their centrifuges. They’re playing with fire. President Obama doesn’t need to send cruise missiles to destroy Iran, he just needs to send them his economic advisors, and within a week the country will be on its knees.
Secretary of State John Kerry told reporters in Rome Tuesday that President Obama is planning to come to the Vatican to meet with Pope Francis this year. It’s important that the president and the pope talk things out. Neither one likes the other’s holier-than-thou attitude.
The U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee released a report saying the White House knew that Benghazi was a terror attack all along. It was never over an anti-Muslim video as they claimed. President Obama is in so much political trouble he may have to kill bin Laden again.
President Obama vowed to bypass Congress if they halt his agenda Monday. It added to the evidence he’s been hanging out with Chris Christie. He just authorized a feasibility study on closing the road between the U.S. Capitol and Reagan National on Wednesday nights.
— Argus Hamilton
We are learning more and more about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. Do you know what his least favorite card game is? Bridge!
During his press conference about the traffic scandal, Christie said he was stunned by the “abject stupidity.” And this is a guy wants to be president? Wait until he gets to Washington. It’s a whole new level.
Yesterday President Obama laid out plans for creating what he called “promise zones” all across the county — spots that will receive extra financial and economic attention from the government. Don’t confuse those areas with the rest of the country. Those are “broken promise” zones.
Did you all watch the Golden Globes last night? The big winner was “American Hustle,” a film about the marketing of Obamacare.
The Labor Department reported that last month 347,000 people quit looking for work. And in New Jersey, 50,000 people quit DRIVING to work.
The White House announced that President Obama will visit Pope Francis in the near future. Pope Francis thinks Obamacare can be a success. Sure, he’s the Pope. He has to believe in miracles.
President Obama has launched a preliminary search for the location of his presidential library. Members of his team are pushing for his birthplace. But I’m thinking Kenya is a bit too far.
— Craig Ferguson
Governor Christie was asked, “Do you think this will hurt your chances of being president of the United States. And he said, “Hey, we’ll close that bridge when we come to it.”
Tomorrow Chris Christie is expected to unveil his agenda for this year. When asked what he’s planning for next year, Christie said, “I’ll close that bridge when I get to it.”
A new report found that more than half of the people who have signed up for Obamacare are older than 45. Which is no big deal until you find out they were 25 when they first tried to log onto the website.
— Jimmy Fallon
It was announced that President Obama is going to visit Pope Francis. Obama said he can’t wait to tell the Pope, “You know, they liked me a lot, too, that first year.”
Rename the George Washington Bridge to Benghazi Bridge and the media will quit covering it.
— Laissez-Faire Capitalist, Free Republic