This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & P:
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
President Obama got photographed flirting with Denmark’s blonde prime minister in front of Michelle at Mandela’s memorial Tuesday. It was a close call. He only avoided being knocked cold by reminding Michelle how high their deductible is under Obamacare.
President Obama eulogized Mandela Tuesday while a fake deaf-sign language translator stood next to him onstage relaying gibberish to the crowd. A star is born. After the ceremony he was apprehended by the Secret Service and appointed Signing Czar by President Obama.
President Obama shook hands with Raul Castro Thursday at the memorial service in South Africa and ignited a firestorm in doing so. It took a lot of nerve. He’s got scores of untried prisoners rotting away in Cuban jail cells, and Raul Castro’s got the same problem.
President Obama lit the National Christmas Tree in a reverential but joyful way last weekend. Every U.S. president has his own approach toward religion. Bill Clinton came to Jesus, George W. Bush talked to Jesus and Barack Obama fills in for Jesus on major holidays.
North Korea’s dictator Kim Jung Un reportedly ordered his uncle executed on Friday for drunken behavior and womanizing. It was good news for President Obama. After hearing what happened in North Korea his Uncle Omar has decided to move back to Kenya.
The White House asked insurance companies to extend the deadline for Obamacare policyholder payments to assure coverage. The chaos is frightening. A year ago they said you can keep your health care plan, and today they’re saying don’t get sick in January.
PolitiFact gave Barack Obama its Lie of the Year award for saying last year Obamacare lets you keep your health care plan. It’s no surprise. Everybody knows it’s useless to hold a man responsible for anything he says while he is drunk, in love or running for office.
President Obama’s approval rating fell to thirty-eight percent Friday while Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s approval rating soared to fifty percent. The conclusion is plain to see. President Obama would have been better off smoking crack than passing Obamacare.
The White House launched a half-billion dollar ad campaign to get people to enroll in Obamacare. Polls show the administration is losing the battle of perception. The White House sees Obamacare as a giant pill, while the people see it as a giant suppository.
North Korea announced Monday that Dennis Rodman agreed to coach North Korea’s Olympic basketball team. He’s treated like royalty when he visits Pyongyang. To this day, no one in North Korea has the nerve to tell Kim Jung Un that he isn’t President Obama.
Harvard’s poll says only one-fifth of Millennials will enroll in Obamacare. They say they don’t like being questioned online by insurers about their sex lives. Nobody wants to reveal the intimate details of their love life and then have to listen to the NSA deliver the rebuttal.
President Obama was advised in a review Wednesday to order the NSA to stop data-mining phone calls of citizens of foreign countries. Mexico is furious about the practice. It’s not enough that we’re spying on U.S. citizens but we’re also spying on future U.S. citizens.
China’s government successfully made a soft landing on the moon with a space craft Friday, setting off Chinese national pride and celebration. Americans could only smile wistfully. It harkened back to the days when the U.S. government could get a website to work.
Barbara Walters blasted Obamacare Tuesday, saying Barack Obama did not turn out to be the Messiah. The lesson is still strikingly similar. Jesus also got crucified when he healed the sick and he didn’t charge the sick five hundred-dollar monthly premiums for it.
— Argus Hamilton
This week President Obama attended Nelson Mandela’s memorial service in South Africa. Hundreds of world leaders were there. President Obama said it felt strange to listen to these leaders in person rather than eavesdropping on their phone calls.
Over the weekend the Obamacare website was down. Fortunately, most Americans were unaffected because they never knew it was up.