Today’s Toons 6/3/13

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

During a congressional hearing, outgoing IRS commissioner Steven Miller admitted that the IRS provided “horrible customer service” by targeting Tea Party groups. Sure. As if the reason we’re mad is that we don’t get a free pen with every audit.

Texas lawmakers have dropped a school curriculum that teaches that the Boston Tea Party was an “act of terrorism”. Well, it IS true they didn’t file an environmental impact statement first.

The ratings are out, and MSNBC has hit a 7-year low with their coverage of the scandals swirling around the White House. Well, when the emperor has no clothes, it’s hard to take his tailor seriously.

A Sacramento man has called 911 over 100 times in a month to complain that the federal government is controlling him with satellites. Obviously another failed government program, since it didn’t stop him from calling 911.

A new poll shows that 72% of Americans think the country’s moral values are “getting worse”. 25% said “getting better”, the other 3% said “I don’t know” – mostly Obama appointees.

The Internal Revenue Service has created eight offices and special “teams” to handle Obamacare enforcement. Thankfully, we can now afford that thanks to canceling White House tours.

The New York State legislature is taking up a bill regulating where bowling shoes may be worn. Bowlers around the state are threatening to not strike in protest.

Republican Senator Rand Paul noted that Obamacare includes doctor diagnosis codes for injuries caused by turtles, macaws, and burning water skis. Eric Holder’s just hoping it covers “pants on fire”.

In St. Louis, armed Homeland Security agents monitored Tea Party members protesting the IRS. Good idea. When people think their government is out to get them, the best response is to send the government out to get them.

So Holder violates his own guidelines and now wants to change guidelines. Willie Sutton should have proposed changing laws against robbing banks.

— Fred Thompson

Reese Witherspoon and Scarlett Johannson are reportedly candidates to play Hillary Clinton in the movie Rodham. It’s close. Reese was just caught on video going nuts when a Georgia cop pulled her over and it may turn out to be the best audition reel she ever shot.

President Obama called for an end to the War on Terror in his speech Thursday and urged Congress to revoke the war declaration. Who surrendered? Evidence from last weekend clearly shows that al-Qaeda hates the West the way Liberace hated Casual Friday.

Scarlett Johansson is among four actresses being considered to play the young Hillary Clinton in the new movie Rodham. It’s about Hillary’s life in Washington D.C. right after she graduated from college. Bill Clinton just offered to play himself if Scarlett gets the role.

Capitol Hill prepared four IRS investigations for targeting conservative groups this week. It’s crazy. So many investigations are raining down on the White House that the governors of Oklahoma and New Jersey just declared the White House a disaster area.

President Obama told Attorney General Eric Holder to probe the Justice Department seizure of AP phone records. Eric Holder is the one who ordered the seizure. Under the terms of the sequester, we have to do everything possible to speed up these investigations.

Anthony Weiner asked New York voters Sunday to forgive him for his lewd texts to women he met online when he was in Congress. One of the women is a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get mixed up in such a sleazy business, the porn star had no answer.

Attorney General Eric Holder was urged to resign Monday for spying on Fox News and then denying it to Congress. Certainly no one suspects Obama’s knowledge or complicity. Under this administration, a president just gives holiday speeches and grants knighthoods.

— Argus Hamilton

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