Today’s Toons 7/30/12

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

A new poll shows that 83% of Americans support the work requirement for welfare that President Obama just gutted. In other news, Obama’s popularity just rose 83% among welfare recipients.

Nancy Pelosi advised her fellow Democrats, “I’m not encouraging members to go to the convention.” Apparently, neither is Obama’s job performance.

In a recent radio interview, DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz said “nobody’s success can be credited just to themselves.” Any failures, however – that was all just Bush, right?

A group of California cities is studying whether to track drivers by GPS and tax them on the number of miles they drive. I’m guessing most of the mileage will be one way – out of the state.

In a fundraising email, President Obama noted that in 2008, “I had significantly fewer gray hairs than I do today.” As did most everyone who’s watched you handle the economy.

During a recent press conference, House Speaker John Boehner said that when it comes to jobs, “this White House has checked out.” And like most out-of-control celebrities, he trashed the room first.

Senate Democrats announced that they’re pushing for a HUGE raise in the death tax next year. Guess they figure it’ll make a nice bookend to Obamacare taxing you just for being alive.

A new report shows sales of pro-Obama merchandise have dropped drastically since 2008. Pity his presidency didn’t have the same effect on unemployment, gas prices, and foreclosures.

An Obama 2012 ad aimed at rural America features the line “we can succeed here just like we can in the big city.” So… he wants to limit milk to 16 oz. glasses?

Democrat Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro said that Congress ought to look at imposing a federal tax on soda pop. Sure. Then when sales plummet, a penalty for people who don’t buy it.

The Obama administration’s new plan to grant temporary work permits to illegals may cost more than $585 million and require hiring hundreds of new federal employees. See? It’s not amnesty, it’s a jobs program.

Discussing his economic policies at a fundraiser in Oakland, California, President Obama told supporters that “we tried our plan – and it worked.” So… he wrecked the economy on purpose?

Due to the added burden of new EPA regulations, two Pennsylvania coal companies announced they’re laying off 225 employees. Well, they can always get jobs with solar companies as bankruptcy lawyers.

In California, TSA workers are now expanding out of airports and into train stations and bus terminals. Well, thank goodness. About time someone made a serious effort to get the wheelchair-granny menace under control.

Speaking in Philadelphia, Vice President Joe Biden told the crowd, “I wish my kids would become wealthy.” Don’t tell Obama, but I think that’s Joe’s way of saying he’s voting Republican this year.

The New York Times posted another huge loss this quarter. Hope they stay afloat. What a terrible world it’d be without them – all those untrained puppies.

— Fred Thompson

Anthony Weiner was reportedly weighing a run for mayor of New York Tuesday. He had to resign Congress after he texted nude photos of himself to women. Still it isn’t right to judge Anthony Weiner till you’ve walked a mile with his pants around your ankles.

The DNC changed the name of President Obama’s convention speech site in Raleigh from Bank of America Stadium to Panther Field. This didn’t go unanswered. Bank of America swiftly decided to charge the Democratic Party a thirty-dollar account-closing fee.

John Sununu ripped President Obama for anti-capitalism remarks, saying he wished Obama could be more American. That’s unfair. President Obama spends more money than he’s got and he may lose his job this year, so what could be more American than that?

Democrats apologized Thursday for making fun of Ann Romney’s dancing horse in a TV ad blasting Mitt Romney. Ridiculing the animal caused nationwide offense. We live in a time where half the country adores horses while the other half is down to eating them.

President Obama left the campaign trail Friday to monitor the Colorado shooting. He met with the top officials of the FBI and Homeland Security inside the White House. They wasted no time intercepting Sarah Palin’s mail to see if she’d put a target over Gotham City.

Hillary Clinton was reported Tuesday orchestrating an allied effort to shove Bashar Al-Assad out of power quietly in Syria. Quietly would be a change of pace. The last time Hillary Clinton overthrew a president, the lamp smashed a portrait in the Oval Office.

ABC News issued an apology Monday saying they are sorry for claiming the Colorado movie house killer James Holmes was connected to the Tea Party. The contrition is real. ABC reporters and anchors are genuinely sorry he had no connection to the Tea Party.

President Obama told Oakland Democrats to fight for his re-election this year. They put a slight reverb in his microphone that gives his voice the sound of God. He’s doing all he can to win the gun-owner vote by sounding as much as possible like Charlton Heston.

North Korea’s women’s soccer team walked off before Thursday’s match. Organizers accidentally displayed the South Korean flag and the North Koreans were outraged. They will never be able to go home now that they know what it is like to be angry and have food.

A Washington D.C. voting group sent out voter registration forms to dead people and pets in Virginia. It was a little obvious to the county registrars. During Virginia’s last presidential primary General Robert E. Lee voted for Obama and Traveler voted for Hillary.

— Argus Hamilton

The apartment that President Obama used to live in when he was a college student in New York is now up for rent for $2,400 a month. Coincidentally, Obama was only there for one four-year term.

— Leno

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