Today’s Toons 2/27/12

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Animal rights groups complain that endangered Golden Eagles are getting slaughtered by giant wind turbines. Really? They don’t notice 200-foot-high towers? So much for the term “eagle-eye.”

On Fox News Sunday, Newt Gingrich said President Obama is “anti-American-energy.” Nah, Obama doesn’t mind it. As long as no Americans drill, refine, or make a profit on it.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon unveiled a “No More Weapons!” billboard made of crushed firearms near the US border. Somebody PLEASE tell Eric Holder that he’s not saying he’s run out and needs more.

At an upcoming Boston fundraiser, you’ll be able to get your picture taken with Michelle Obama for $5000. Or, you can go to Aspen and get one for free.

Although test-driving a number of options, the Obama campaign says it’s still “working toward” choosing a replacement for his 2008 “Change we can believe in” slogan. Well, “Sorry about that” would be a good start.

‎30,000-year-old seeds hidden in an Ice Age squirrel’s burrow in Siberian permafrost have been resurrected into a flower by Russian scientists. In a remarkable coincidence, that was right around the last time the Senate passed a budget.

A new poll shows that 53% of Americans favor the repeal of the Obamacare law. The other 47% want it staked, beheaded, and stuffed with garlic.

On Meet the Press, Democrat Senator Kent Conrad said that the Democrats’ budget will “absolutely” confront entitlement spending. Yes, much like ostriches confront piles of sand.

During a live report on ABC News, viewers watched gas prices jump 10 cents in two minutes. Thank goodness! I thought it was NEVER going to slow down.

White House adviser Valerie Jarrett said that people getting unemployment checks “stimulates the economy.” Absolutely. We should start getting Obama’s advisers into that program immediately.

The government’s new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says it wants “to make sure people understand how they can avoid overdraft fees.” Obviously the key is more advice from a government that’s been overdrawn since 1836.

A Wisconsin man was arrested after he marched into a Denny’s restaurant, announced he was the new boss, and cooked himself dinner. I’m guessing he was probably just angling for a job in Obama’s Labor Department.

During a speech in Florida, President Obama said, “it’s the easiest thing in the world to make phony election-year promises about lower gas prices.” Ah… the voice of experience.

President Obama said he wouldn’t watch any basketball games while in Florida because he had “a few other things on my plate.” Like a pricetag of $35,800.

— Fred Thompson

President Obama campaigned in Seattle Friday where he gave an economic pep talk to the Pacific Northwest. He wants them to cheer up. The recession is supposed to have ended last year, and there’s no reason the state of Washington should have to continue to sell apples.

Michelle Obama tweeted a Happy Presidents Day to her husband Monday while she’s on a ski vacation in Vail with their daughters. White House travel records confirmed she’s had sixteen vacations in three years. Trying to get people to stop eating just wears you out.

Donald Trump campaigned furiously for Mitt Romney in Michigan Wednesday, even pitching Romney in robo-calls to voters at home. His calls are not welcome. As soon as people answer the phone and hear his voice, they think they’ve been fired.

— Argus Hamilton

Italian police seized $6 trillion worth of fake, worthless U.S. bonds. Let that be a lesson. If you want to try and sell worthless financial instruments, you’d better be Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.

President Obama said he understands that rising prices are making people worried and fearful. Especially in his re-election campaign. They’re really fearful.

Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him. Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

— Leno

Tomorrow night is the 20th Republican debate, which explains that new campaign slogan, “Vote Mitt Romney — or else we’ll keep doing this.”

— Jimmy Fallon

It’s been reported that Mitt Romney’s campaign is spending cash twice as fast as they’re earning it. Hey, it turns out he is just like us after all.

— Conan

Congressman Barney Frank is getting married soon — to another guy. Usually congressmen only do that sort of thing in secret.

— Jimmy Kimmel

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