Today’s Toons 1/2/12

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Ft. Lauderdale, FL is now offering homeless people free one-way bus tickets out of town. I hear DC does something sorta similar every couple years.

The Obama administration is looking to reopen a nuclear-scientist exchange program with China, even though a similar program lost us nuclear secrets in the 90s. Why are they doing this? Isn’t that what the New York Times is for?

The dog that MSNBC’s Ed Schultz used as a prop during a segment of his show spent most of its time straining at its leash, trying to get away. Finally! – someone who really does represent the 99%.

— Fred Thompson

New York former Congressman Anthony Weiner announced he and his wife just had a baby boy they named Jason. It’s a nice ending to a bad year. Anthony Weiner’s friends have begged him not to text them any photos of the baby, they’ll take his word it was a boy.

Ron Paul denied writing twenty years ago that ninety-five percent of all black men in Washington D.C. were criminals. That’s silly. Statisticians say it’s wrong to extrapolate characteristics of an entire city from the crime statistics of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Baghdad erupted in ethnic strife Thursday after U.S. troops left for Kuwait. We could be back at square one. For security purposes Saddam Hussein used to have a lot of doubles roaming around Iraq and if we can find one of them, the CIA says they have a plan.

Ron Paul seized the lead in the Iowa polls for the first time Thursday, replacing Newt Gingrich at the top. Every four weeks Republicans overthrow their leader. It’s a trick to win voters from Central America by looking the most like their governments back home.

Jimmy Carter sent his condolences to North Korea on the death of Kim Jong Il. The president is furious. When Jimmy Carter issued his condolences, President Obama was just about to hold a press conference to take credit for giving the go order for the heart attack.

Ron Paul led the GOP field in one of the Iowa polls Monday with the Iowa caucus just one week away. The former gynecologist has surprised a lot of people. The difference between Ron Paul and Bill Clinton is Ron Paul has taken six thousand babies out of women.

President Obama arrived in Hawaii late after a six-thousand mile flight on Friday. He slept the first night, then he enjoyed a round of golf with unnamed friends and his Secret Service detail. You can’t expect him to break his daily work habits the first day of vacation.

President Obama rated himself America’s fourth best president behind Lincoln, FDR and LBJ last Sunday. That’s ominous. It looks like Obama’s idea of a perfect second term involves a civil war, a huge federal spending program, and bringing democracy to Vietnam.

Tarzan’s pet chimpanzee Cheetah died at the age of eighty on Wednesday. Everyone adored the lovable chimp. The people in North Korea who were shown crying during Kim Jong Il’s funeral procession Wednesday had just been told the sad news about Cheetah.

The Muslim Brotherhood won the second round of elections in Egypt Tuesday. These guys raise money through merchandise sales. They market their own Muslim Talking Barbie doll, but no one knows what she says because no one has the nerve to pull the string.

— Argus Hamilton

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